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Avoiding morning and evening handshakes
Are games and puzzles at your desk a sign of unprofessional immaturity or quirky intelligence?How to work with a person who is going to leave the company and is not liked by any team member?Something to improve in the office and the only one with the feelingResigning: How to phrase email and what to say when sending email to all colleagues when leaving?Is it okay for a secretary to not greet everyone in the morning when there are around 100 people in the office?
I work in an open space office at the moment with ~30 people on the same floor. I tend to arrive early and leave late thus flocks of arriving and leaving people are zooming past me both in the morning and in the evening, each considers it customary to stop by and shake my hand, regardless if I put on my headphones or not.
Not that I am socially awkward (I have some trouble remembering all the faces and names though), but getting pulled out of "the flow"
by turning my head and shaking a hand each time is detrimental for my concentration, which is regrettably not one of my stronger sides. I would much rather shake hands on my own with a [much smaller] pool of local folks.
I work in Eastern Europe (Ukraine).
Is there a "known" silver bullet to stop this custom without being known as an odd guy? I searched The Workplace and considered the options for related questions, however none address this particular situation.
offices concentration handshake ukraine
edited 14 hours ago
Joe Strazzere
249k1237271030
asked 14 hours ago
Eugene AEugene A
5411813
|
show 5 more comments
I work in an open space office at the moment with ~30 people on the same floor. I tend to arrive early and leave late thus flocks of arriving and leaving people are zooming past me both in the morning and in the evening, each considers it customary to stop by and shake my hand, regardless if I put on my headphones or not.
Not that I am socially awkward (I have some trouble remembering all the faces and names though), but getting pulled out of "the flow"
by turning my head and shaking a hand each time is detrimental for my concentration, which is regrettably not one of my stronger sides. I would much rather shake hands on my own with a [much smaller] pool of local folks.
I work in Eastern Europe (Ukraine).
Is there a "known" silver bullet to stop this custom without being known as an odd guy? I searched The Workplace and considered the options for related questions, however none address this particular situation.
offices concentration handshake ukraine
edited 14 hours ago
Joe Strazzere
249k1237271030
asked 14 hours ago
Eugene AEugene A
5411813
38
Is shaking hands like this every day customary in your region? This would be completely bizarre in the US.
– David K
14 hours ago
4
Shaking hands is a widespread way to greet people, inside and outside alike here; it's just in this particular office I find it distracting enough to post a question here :-)
– Eugene A
14 hours ago
3
Just feel glad that you're not in the parts of Europe and South America where the customary greeting is a kiss! :P
– Mason Wheeler
11 hours ago
3
Does everyone shake eachother's hands too? I keep imagining the end of a soccer match where each team walks by and shakes everyone's hand on the opposing team; is this what it's like? I am Ukrainian also but I live in the U.S. and I would find it odd to shake hands every single day like that.
– MonkeyZeus
11 hours ago
11
@Blackhole Well that is just fascinating. I shake hands with my co-workers on three occasions at most: my first day on the job (or first time meeting someone), my last day at the job, and occasionally when I run into them outside of work.
– MonkeyZeus
10 hours ago
|
show 5 more comments
I work in an open space office at the moment with ~30 people on the same floor. I tend to arrive early and leave late thus flocks of arriving and leaving people are zooming past me both in the morning and in the evening, each considers it customary to stop by and shake my hand, regardless if I put on my headphones or not.
Not that I am socially awkward (I have some trouble remembering all the faces and names though), but getting pulled out of "the flow"
by turning my head and shaking a hand each time is detrimental for my concentration, which is regrettably not one of my stronger sides. I would much rather shake hands on my own with a [much smaller] pool of local folks.
I work in Eastern Europe (Ukraine).
Is there a "known" silver bullet to stop this custom without being known as an odd guy? I searched The Workplace and considered the options for related questions, however none address this particular situation.
offices concentration handshake ukraine
edited 14 hours ago
Joe Strazzere
249k1237271030
asked 14 hours ago
Eugene AEugene A
5411813
I work in an open space office at the moment with ~30 people on the same floor. I tend to arrive early and leave late thus flocks of arriving and leaving people are zooming past me both in the morning and in the evening, each considers it customary to stop by and shake my hand, regardless if I put on my headphones or not.
Not that I am socially awkward (I have some trouble remembering all the faces and names though), but getting pulled out of "the flow"
by turning my head and shaking a hand each time is detrimental for my concentration, which is regrettably not one of my stronger sides. I would much rather shake hands on my own with a [much smaller] pool of local folks.
I work in Eastern Europe (Ukraine).
Is there a "known" silver bullet to stop this custom without being known as an odd guy? I searched The Workplace and considered the options for related questions, however none address this particular situation.
offices concentration handshake ukraine
offices concentration handshake ukraine
edited 14 hours ago
Joe Strazzere
249k1237271030
asked 14 hours ago
Eugene AEugene A
5411813
edited 14 hours ago
Joe Strazzere
249k1237271030
asked 14 hours ago
Eugene AEugene A
5411813
edited 14 hours ago
Joe Strazzere
249k1237271030
edited 14 hours ago
Joe Strazzere
249k1237271030
edited 14 hours ago
Joe Strazzere
249k1237271030
249k1237271030
asked 14 hours ago
Eugene AEugene A
5411813
asked 14 hours ago
Eugene AEugene A
5411813
asked 14 hours ago
Eugene AEugene A
5411813
5411813
38
Is shaking hands like this every day customary in your region? This would be completely bizarre in the US.
– David K
14 hours ago
4
Shaking hands is a widespread way to greet people, inside and outside alike here; it's just in this particular office I find it distracting enough to post a question here :-)
– Eugene A
14 hours ago
3
Just feel glad that you're not in the parts of Europe and South America where the customary greeting is a kiss! :P
– Mason Wheeler
11 hours ago
3
Does everyone shake eachother's hands too? I keep imagining the end of a soccer match where each team walks by and shakes everyone's hand on the opposing team; is this what it's like? I am Ukrainian also but I live in the U.S. and I would find it odd to shake hands every single day like that.
– MonkeyZeus
11 hours ago
11
@Blackhole Well that is just fascinating. I shake hands with my co-workers on three occasions at most: my first day on the job (or first time meeting someone), my last day at the job, and occasionally when I run into them outside of work.
– MonkeyZeus
10 hours ago
|
show 5 more comments
38
Is shaking hands like this every day customary in your region? This would be completely bizarre in the US.
– David K
14 hours ago
4
Shaking hands is a widespread way to greet people, inside and outside alike here; it's just in this particular office I find it distracting enough to post a question here :-)
– Eugene A
14 hours ago
3
Just feel glad that you're not in the parts of Europe and South America where the customary greeting is a kiss! :P
– Mason Wheeler
11 hours ago
3
Does everyone shake eachother's hands too? I keep imagining the end of a soccer match where each team walks by and shakes everyone's hand on the opposing team; is this what it's like? I am Ukrainian also but I live in the U.S. and I would find it odd to shake hands every single day like that.
– MonkeyZeus
11 hours ago
11
@Blackhole Well that is just fascinating. I shake hands with my co-workers on three occasions at most: my first day on the job (or first time meeting someone), my last day at the job, and occasionally when I run into them outside of work.
– MonkeyZeus
10 hours ago
38
38
Is shaking hands like this every day customary in your region? This would be completely bizarre in the US.
– David K
14 hours ago
Is shaking hands like this every day customary in your region? This would be completely bizarre in the US.
– David K
14 hours ago
4
4
Shaking hands is a widespread way to greet people, inside and outside alike here; it's just in this particular office I find it distracting enough to post a question here :-)
– Eugene A
14 hours ago
Shaking hands is a widespread way to greet people, inside and outside alike here; it's just in this particular office I find it distracting enough to post a question here :-)
– Eugene A
14 hours ago
3
3
Just feel glad that you're not in the parts of Europe and South America where the customary greeting is a kiss! :P
– Mason Wheeler
11 hours ago
Just feel glad that you're not in the parts of Europe and South America where the customary greeting is a kiss! :P
– Mason Wheeler
11 hours ago
3
3
Does everyone shake eachother's hands too? I keep imagining the end of a soccer match where each team walks by and shakes everyone's hand on the opposing team; is this what it's like? I am Ukrainian also but I live in the U.S. and I would find it odd to shake hands every single day like that.
– MonkeyZeus
11 hours ago
Does everyone shake eachother's hands too? I keep imagining the end of a soccer match where each team walks by and shakes everyone's hand on the opposing team; is this what it's like? I am Ukrainian also but I live in the U.S. and I would find it odd to shake hands every single day like that.
– MonkeyZeus
11 hours ago
11
11
@Blackhole Well that is just fascinating. I shake hands with my co-workers on three occasions at most: my first day on the job (or first time meeting someone), my last day at the job, and occasionally when I run into them outside of work.
– MonkeyZeus
10 hours ago
@Blackhole Well that is just fascinating. I shake hands with my co-workers on three occasions at most: my first day on the job (or first time meeting someone), my last day at the job, and occasionally when I run into them outside of work.
– MonkeyZeus
10 hours ago
|
show 5 more comments
6 Answers
6
active
oldest
votes
You know this is going to happen and it appears to be important to the culture in your office.
Plan your day so you are doing easily interruptible work (for example, answering emails) at that time.
Don't try to "get in the flow" when you know you will be interrupted
Getting along well with your coworkers is at least as important to your career as writing good code.
You don't need to encourage extended conversation, but it's important that you are thought of as "one of us".
Don't hide.
answered 13 hours ago
Dan PichelmanDan Pichelman
28.1k137793
16
This answer is sad but true.
– Koray Tugay
11 hours ago
4
This is really awful advice. Your coworkers should be respectful of your time. Unless everyone comes in within a 5 minute window, there will be a significant portion of your day lost to people wanting to say hi.
– krillgar
10 hours ago
2
This clearly answers the question "Is there a way to avoid this" with the correct answer: No, so plan around it. This isn't a problem of coworkers not respecting the OP, it's frankly that the OP is not respecting their coworkers. Not making the small amount of effort to perform the standard greeting of the culture you're in because you're "in the zone" is, to put it simply, impolite.
– CullenJ
9 hours ago
2
@krillgar It's not his time, but his employers time, as long as OP is paid. And apparently employer made it a custom and culture to shake hands.
– Mołot
7 hours ago
add a comment |
Get a different desk.
It sounds like a big part of your problem is that you are in the natural flow of traffic between the entrance and a significant number of desks. This is also hampering your work. Talk with your supervisor and see if you can't get your desk moved to a more out-of-the-way corner. If they aren't passing by you, they won't shake your hand by default, and it's not something you're obviously doing, so no one is likely to see it as odd.
answered 13 hours ago
Ben BardenBen Barden
6,25931420
3
Ahhh very true, I sit right in the middle of the room, aisle seat.
– Eugene A
11 hours ago
add a comment |
Easiest option to avoid upsetting others is to find a quiet room for 30 or 40 minutes at the start, and end, of the day so you are just not there when they stream by.
Any other suggestion, such as "pretend a sports injury" etc etc don't work for extended periods...
answered 14 hours ago
Solar MikeSolar Mike
1,796813
Five words: "I have a medical condition". Simultaneously does two things: shuts down any further questions as to the nature of the condition (assuming medical privacy is valued there as much as it is in the US), and also makes people wary of complaining about it for fear of getting HR involved. I doubt you'll need a doctor's note to prove it or anything, and there are any number of legit medical conditions that would make repeated handshakes problematic.
– Darrel Hoffman
9 hours ago
2
@DarrelHoffman perhaps you should make this an answer - at least it could have been better placed than just a comment against my answer...
– Solar Mike
9 hours ago
2
@DarrelHoffman Feigning a medical condition might be difficult if he has been shaking hands up until now. You can bet some (perhaps many) people will ask, "What happened?" Further, if someone told me they can't shake my hand because of a "medical condition" and wouldn't divulge what that condition was, I'd take care to avoid any contact with them at all.
– Headblender
9 hours ago
I thought about making that an actual answer, but I'm not sure it's enough of a good idea to seriously suggest it. It was mainly in response to the "pretend a sports injury" comment you made.
– Darrel Hoffman
8 hours ago
@SolarMike Hmmm. Believe it or not, handshaking is often very ingrained in the culture and not an empty/background gesture. Many co-workers will notice the maneuver after at most three-four days and comment on it. They really keep in their head the list of people and daily handshakes. I know I did. Thus this would very likely fail the "I don't want to be the odd guy" requirement.
– kubanczyk
8 hours ago
|
show 2 more comments
You could take a comical approach and attach a plastic hand near your desk with a sign for people to shake, they will probably laugh and get the message.
answered 6 hours ago
JaysonJayson
1072
add a comment |
I have been through the same and I understand that social conventions sometimes are inconvenient (or undesired when involving physical contact like birthday hugs).
In my experience, most people will eventually get used to your preferences. I would explain to each one your reasons and politely ask to say hi in a less distracting way, for example, just waving.
Some will be offended but there is nothing wrong with wanting your focus to remain intact while you work and while you respectfully draw limits, there should be no problem.
Also, talking to everyone individually, you can explain without hurting their feelings, you give the message of being important enough to have "the talk", and give them a chance to process it.
I would avoid just not answering the shake from one day to another because they will probably be confused by the behavioural change and will assume the reason ("he's becoming weird", "what did I do?"), and potentially damage your social life there (not receiving after-office activities invitation, eating alone, etc). Leave the least space to assumptions and you should be fine.
answered 13 hours ago
AurinxkiAurinxki
2516
add a comment |
Resist the handshake, you should not be forced to give out handshakes as if they were high fives in a 90s teenage TV show. Do as user Jayson said you should do, or start doing your own thing. Point at them and tell them "you're the man" (if applicable). Or start presenting the left hand instead of the right hand. Some people will get the hint, some will just stop coming at your desk, not wanting to be bothered by "Eugene A's latest handshake prank". A few will stick around, and that's when you start having fun with them.
answered 4 hours ago
sleblancsleblanc
1112
New contributor
sleblanc is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Or my ideas: wave at them. Or salute them. (Just put your hand on your eyebrow, then quickly push your hand into the air. Then, to confirm that you've completed your portion, look away from them, back at the computer screen.) Since the core of my ideas is similar to the core of this answer, I just upvoted this answer and added my ideas in a comment.
– TOOGAM
1 hour ago
add a comment |
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6 Answers
6
active
oldest
votes
6 Answers
6
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
You know this is going to happen and it appears to be important to the culture in your office.
Plan your day so you are doing easily interruptible work (for example, answering emails) at that time.
Don't try to "get in the flow" when you know you will be interrupted
Getting along well with your coworkers is at least as important to your career as writing good code.
You don't need to encourage extended conversation, but it's important that you are thought of as "one of us".
Don't hide.
answered 13 hours ago
Dan PichelmanDan Pichelman
28.1k137793
16
This answer is sad but true.
– Koray Tugay
11 hours ago
4
This is really awful advice. Your coworkers should be respectful of your time. Unless everyone comes in within a 5 minute window, there will be a significant portion of your day lost to people wanting to say hi.
– krillgar
10 hours ago
2
This clearly answers the question "Is there a way to avoid this" with the correct answer: No, so plan around it. This isn't a problem of coworkers not respecting the OP, it's frankly that the OP is not respecting their coworkers. Not making the small amount of effort to perform the standard greeting of the culture you're in because you're "in the zone" is, to put it simply, impolite.
– CullenJ
9 hours ago
2
@krillgar It's not his time, but his employers time, as long as OP is paid. And apparently employer made it a custom and culture to shake hands.
– Mołot
7 hours ago
add a comment |
You know this is going to happen and it appears to be important to the culture in your office.
Plan your day so you are doing easily interruptible work (for example, answering emails) at that time.
Don't try to "get in the flow" when you know you will be interrupted
Getting along well with your coworkers is at least as important to your career as writing good code.
You don't need to encourage extended conversation, but it's important that you are thought of as "one of us".
Don't hide.
answered 13 hours ago
Dan PichelmanDan Pichelman
28.1k137793
16
This answer is sad but true.
– Koray Tugay
11 hours ago
4
This is really awful advice. Your coworkers should be respectful of your time. Unless everyone comes in within a 5 minute window, there will be a significant portion of your day lost to people wanting to say hi.
– krillgar
10 hours ago
2
This clearly answers the question "Is there a way to avoid this" with the correct answer: No, so plan around it. This isn't a problem of coworkers not respecting the OP, it's frankly that the OP is not respecting their coworkers. Not making the small amount of effort to perform the standard greeting of the culture you're in because you're "in the zone" is, to put it simply, impolite.
– CullenJ
9 hours ago
2
@krillgar It's not his time, but his employers time, as long as OP is paid. And apparently employer made it a custom and culture to shake hands.
– Mołot
7 hours ago
add a comment |
You know this is going to happen and it appears to be important to the culture in your office.
Plan your day so you are doing easily interruptible work (for example, answering emails) at that time.
Don't try to "get in the flow" when you know you will be interrupted
Getting along well with your coworkers is at least as important to your career as writing good code.
You don't need to encourage extended conversation, but it's important that you are thought of as "one of us".
Don't hide.
answered 13 hours ago
Dan PichelmanDan Pichelman
28.1k137793
You know this is going to happen and it appears to be important to the culture in your office.
Plan your day so you are doing easily interruptible work (for example, answering emails) at that time.
Don't try to "get in the flow" when you know you will be interrupted
Getting along well with your coworkers is at least as important to your career as writing good code.
You don't need to encourage extended conversation, but it's important that you are thought of as "one of us".
Don't hide.
answered 13 hours ago
Dan PichelmanDan Pichelman
28.1k137793
answered 13 hours ago
Dan PichelmanDan Pichelman
28.1k137793
answered 13 hours ago
Dan PichelmanDan Pichelman
28.1k137793
answered 13 hours ago
Dan PichelmanDan Pichelman
28.1k137793
28.1k137793
16
This answer is sad but true.
– Koray Tugay
11 hours ago
4
This is really awful advice. Your coworkers should be respectful of your time. Unless everyone comes in within a 5 minute window, there will be a significant portion of your day lost to people wanting to say hi.
– krillgar
10 hours ago
2
This clearly answers the question "Is there a way to avoid this" with the correct answer: No, so plan around it. This isn't a problem of coworkers not respecting the OP, it's frankly that the OP is not respecting their coworkers. Not making the small amount of effort to perform the standard greeting of the culture you're in because you're "in the zone" is, to put it simply, impolite.
– CullenJ
9 hours ago
2
@krillgar It's not his time, but his employers time, as long as OP is paid. And apparently employer made it a custom and culture to shake hands.
– Mołot
7 hours ago
add a comment |
16
This answer is sad but true.
– Koray Tugay
11 hours ago
4
This is really awful advice. Your coworkers should be respectful of your time. Unless everyone comes in within a 5 minute window, there will be a significant portion of your day lost to people wanting to say hi.
– krillgar
10 hours ago
2
This clearly answers the question "Is there a way to avoid this" with the correct answer: No, so plan around it. This isn't a problem of coworkers not respecting the OP, it's frankly that the OP is not respecting their coworkers. Not making the small amount of effort to perform the standard greeting of the culture you're in because you're "in the zone" is, to put it simply, impolite.
– CullenJ
9 hours ago
2
@krillgar It's not his time, but his employers time, as long as OP is paid. And apparently employer made it a custom and culture to shake hands.
– Mołot
7 hours ago
16
16
This answer is sad but true.
– Koray Tugay
11 hours ago
This answer is sad but true.
– Koray Tugay
11 hours ago
4
4
This is really awful advice. Your coworkers should be respectful of your time. Unless everyone comes in within a 5 minute window, there will be a significant portion of your day lost to people wanting to say hi.
– krillgar
10 hours ago
This is really awful advice. Your coworkers should be respectful of your time. Unless everyone comes in within a 5 minute window, there will be a significant portion of your day lost to people wanting to say hi.
– krillgar
10 hours ago
2
2
This clearly answers the question "Is there a way to avoid this" with the correct answer: No, so plan around it. This isn't a problem of coworkers not respecting the OP, it's frankly that the OP is not respecting their coworkers. Not making the small amount of effort to perform the standard greeting of the culture you're in because you're "in the zone" is, to put it simply, impolite.
– CullenJ
9 hours ago
This clearly answers the question "Is there a way to avoid this" with the correct answer: No, so plan around it. This isn't a problem of coworkers not respecting the OP, it's frankly that the OP is not respecting their coworkers. Not making the small amount of effort to perform the standard greeting of the culture you're in because you're "in the zone" is, to put it simply, impolite.
– CullenJ
9 hours ago
2
2
@krillgar It's not his time, but his employers time, as long as OP is paid. And apparently employer made it a custom and culture to shake hands.
– Mołot
7 hours ago
@krillgar It's not his time, but his employers time, as long as OP is paid. And apparently employer made it a custom and culture to shake hands.
– Mołot
7 hours ago
add a comment |
Get a different desk.
It sounds like a big part of your problem is that you are in the natural flow of traffic between the entrance and a significant number of desks. This is also hampering your work. Talk with your supervisor and see if you can't get your desk moved to a more out-of-the-way corner. If they aren't passing by you, they won't shake your hand by default, and it's not something you're obviously doing, so no one is likely to see it as odd.
answered 13 hours ago
Ben BardenBen Barden
6,25931420
3
Ahhh very true, I sit right in the middle of the room, aisle seat.
– Eugene A
11 hours ago
add a comment |
Get a different desk.
It sounds like a big part of your problem is that you are in the natural flow of traffic between the entrance and a significant number of desks. This is also hampering your work. Talk with your supervisor and see if you can't get your desk moved to a more out-of-the-way corner. If they aren't passing by you, they won't shake your hand by default, and it's not something you're obviously doing, so no one is likely to see it as odd.
answered 13 hours ago
Ben BardenBen Barden
6,25931420
3
Ahhh very true, I sit right in the middle of the room, aisle seat.
– Eugene A
11 hours ago
add a comment |
Get a different desk.
It sounds like a big part of your problem is that you are in the natural flow of traffic between the entrance and a significant number of desks. This is also hampering your work. Talk with your supervisor and see if you can't get your desk moved to a more out-of-the-way corner. If they aren't passing by you, they won't shake your hand by default, and it's not something you're obviously doing, so no one is likely to see it as odd.
answered 13 hours ago
Ben BardenBen Barden
6,25931420
Get a different desk.
It sounds like a big part of your problem is that you are in the natural flow of traffic between the entrance and a significant number of desks. This is also hampering your work. Talk with your supervisor and see if you can't get your desk moved to a more out-of-the-way corner. If they aren't passing by you, they won't shake your hand by default, and it's not something you're obviously doing, so no one is likely to see it as odd.
answered 13 hours ago
Ben BardenBen Barden
6,25931420
answered 13 hours ago
Ben BardenBen Barden
6,25931420
answered 13 hours ago
Ben BardenBen Barden
6,25931420
answered 13 hours ago
Ben BardenBen Barden
6,25931420
6,25931420
3
Ahhh very true, I sit right in the middle of the room, aisle seat.
– Eugene A
11 hours ago
add a comment |
3
Ahhh very true, I sit right in the middle of the room, aisle seat.
– Eugene A
11 hours ago
3
3
Ahhh very true, I sit right in the middle of the room, aisle seat.
– Eugene A
11 hours ago
Ahhh very true, I sit right in the middle of the room, aisle seat.
– Eugene A
11 hours ago
add a comment |
Easiest option to avoid upsetting others is to find a quiet room for 30 or 40 minutes at the start, and end, of the day so you are just not there when they stream by.
Any other suggestion, such as "pretend a sports injury" etc etc don't work for extended periods...
answered 14 hours ago
Solar MikeSolar Mike
1,796813
Five words: "I have a medical condition". Simultaneously does two things: shuts down any further questions as to the nature of the condition (assuming medical privacy is valued there as much as it is in the US), and also makes people wary of complaining about it for fear of getting HR involved. I doubt you'll need a doctor's note to prove it or anything, and there are any number of legit medical conditions that would make repeated handshakes problematic.
– Darrel Hoffman
9 hours ago
2
@DarrelHoffman perhaps you should make this an answer - at least it could have been better placed than just a comment against my answer...
– Solar Mike
9 hours ago
2
@DarrelHoffman Feigning a medical condition might be difficult if he has been shaking hands up until now. You can bet some (perhaps many) people will ask, "What happened?" Further, if someone told me they can't shake my hand because of a "medical condition" and wouldn't divulge what that condition was, I'd take care to avoid any contact with them at all.
– Headblender
9 hours ago
I thought about making that an actual answer, but I'm not sure it's enough of a good idea to seriously suggest it. It was mainly in response to the "pretend a sports injury" comment you made.
– Darrel Hoffman
8 hours ago
@SolarMike Hmmm. Believe it or not, handshaking is often very ingrained in the culture and not an empty/background gesture. Many co-workers will notice the maneuver after at most three-four days and comment on it. They really keep in their head the list of people and daily handshakes. I know I did. Thus this would very likely fail the "I don't want to be the odd guy" requirement.
– kubanczyk
8 hours ago
|
show 2 more comments
Easiest option to avoid upsetting others is to find a quiet room for 30 or 40 minutes at the start, and end, of the day so you are just not there when they stream by.
Any other suggestion, such as "pretend a sports injury" etc etc don't work for extended periods...
answered 14 hours ago
Solar MikeSolar Mike
1,796813
Five words: "I have a medical condition". Simultaneously does two things: shuts down any further questions as to the nature of the condition (assuming medical privacy is valued there as much as it is in the US), and also makes people wary of complaining about it for fear of getting HR involved. I doubt you'll need a doctor's note to prove it or anything, and there are any number of legit medical conditions that would make repeated handshakes problematic.
– Darrel Hoffman
9 hours ago
2
@DarrelHoffman perhaps you should make this an answer - at least it could have been better placed than just a comment against my answer...
– Solar Mike
9 hours ago
2
@DarrelHoffman Feigning a medical condition might be difficult if he has been shaking hands up until now. You can bet some (perhaps many) people will ask, "What happened?" Further, if someone told me they can't shake my hand because of a "medical condition" and wouldn't divulge what that condition was, I'd take care to avoid any contact with them at all.
– Headblender
9 hours ago
I thought about making that an actual answer, but I'm not sure it's enough of a good idea to seriously suggest it. It was mainly in response to the "pretend a sports injury" comment you made.
– Darrel Hoffman
8 hours ago
@SolarMike Hmmm. Believe it or not, handshaking is often very ingrained in the culture and not an empty/background gesture. Many co-workers will notice the maneuver after at most three-four days and comment on it. They really keep in their head the list of people and daily handshakes. I know I did. Thus this would very likely fail the "I don't want to be the odd guy" requirement.
– kubanczyk
8 hours ago
|
show 2 more comments
Easiest option to avoid upsetting others is to find a quiet room for 30 or 40 minutes at the start, and end, of the day so you are just not there when they stream by.
Any other suggestion, such as "pretend a sports injury" etc etc don't work for extended periods...
answered 14 hours ago
Solar MikeSolar Mike
1,796813
Easiest option to avoid upsetting others is to find a quiet room for 30 or 40 minutes at the start, and end, of the day so you are just not there when they stream by.
Any other suggestion, such as "pretend a sports injury" etc etc don't work for extended periods...
answered 14 hours ago
Solar MikeSolar Mike
1,796813
answered 14 hours ago
Solar MikeSolar Mike
1,796813
answered 14 hours ago
Solar MikeSolar Mike
1,796813
answered 14 hours ago
Solar MikeSolar Mike
1,796813
1,796813
Five words: "I have a medical condition". Simultaneously does two things: shuts down any further questions as to the nature of the condition (assuming medical privacy is valued there as much as it is in the US), and also makes people wary of complaining about it for fear of getting HR involved. I doubt you'll need a doctor's note to prove it or anything, and there are any number of legit medical conditions that would make repeated handshakes problematic.
– Darrel Hoffman
9 hours ago
2
@DarrelHoffman perhaps you should make this an answer - at least it could have been better placed than just a comment against my answer...
– Solar Mike
9 hours ago
2
@DarrelHoffman Feigning a medical condition might be difficult if he has been shaking hands up until now. You can bet some (perhaps many) people will ask, "What happened?" Further, if someone told me they can't shake my hand because of a "medical condition" and wouldn't divulge what that condition was, I'd take care to avoid any contact with them at all.
– Headblender
9 hours ago
I thought about making that an actual answer, but I'm not sure it's enough of a good idea to seriously suggest it. It was mainly in response to the "pretend a sports injury" comment you made.
– Darrel Hoffman
8 hours ago
@SolarMike Hmmm. Believe it or not, handshaking is often very ingrained in the culture and not an empty/background gesture. Many co-workers will notice the maneuver after at most three-four days and comment on it. They really keep in their head the list of people and daily handshakes. I know I did. Thus this would very likely fail the "I don't want to be the odd guy" requirement.
– kubanczyk
8 hours ago
|
show 2 more comments
Five words: "I have a medical condition". Simultaneously does two things: shuts down any further questions as to the nature of the condition (assuming medical privacy is valued there as much as it is in the US), and also makes people wary of complaining about it for fear of getting HR involved. I doubt you'll need a doctor's note to prove it or anything, and there are any number of legit medical conditions that would make repeated handshakes problematic.
– Darrel Hoffman
9 hours ago
2
@DarrelHoffman perhaps you should make this an answer - at least it could have been better placed than just a comment against my answer...
– Solar Mike
9 hours ago
2
@DarrelHoffman Feigning a medical condition might be difficult if he has been shaking hands up until now. You can bet some (perhaps many) people will ask, "What happened?" Further, if someone told me they can't shake my hand because of a "medical condition" and wouldn't divulge what that condition was, I'd take care to avoid any contact with them at all.
– Headblender
9 hours ago
I thought about making that an actual answer, but I'm not sure it's enough of a good idea to seriously suggest it. It was mainly in response to the "pretend a sports injury" comment you made.
– Darrel Hoffman
8 hours ago
@SolarMike Hmmm. Believe it or not, handshaking is often very ingrained in the culture and not an empty/background gesture. Many co-workers will notice the maneuver after at most three-four days and comment on it. They really keep in their head the list of people and daily handshakes. I know I did. Thus this would very likely fail the "I don't want to be the odd guy" requirement.
– kubanczyk
8 hours ago
Five words: "I have a medical condition". Simultaneously does two things: shuts down any further questions as to the nature of the condition (assuming medical privacy is valued there as much as it is in the US), and also makes people wary of complaining about it for fear of getting HR involved. I doubt you'll need a doctor's note to prove it or anything, and there are any number of legit medical conditions that would make repeated handshakes problematic.
– Darrel Hoffman
9 hours ago
Five words: "I have a medical condition". Simultaneously does two things: shuts down any further questions as to the nature of the condition (assuming medical privacy is valued there as much as it is in the US), and also makes people wary of complaining about it for fear of getting HR involved. I doubt you'll need a doctor's note to prove it or anything, and there are any number of legit medical conditions that would make repeated handshakes problematic.
– Darrel Hoffman
9 hours ago
2
2
@DarrelHoffman perhaps you should make this an answer - at least it could have been better placed than just a comment against my answer...
– Solar Mike
9 hours ago
@DarrelHoffman perhaps you should make this an answer - at least it could have been better placed than just a comment against my answer...
– Solar Mike
9 hours ago
2
2
@DarrelHoffman Feigning a medical condition might be difficult if he has been shaking hands up until now. You can bet some (perhaps many) people will ask, "What happened?" Further, if someone told me they can't shake my hand because of a "medical condition" and wouldn't divulge what that condition was, I'd take care to avoid any contact with them at all.
– Headblender
9 hours ago
@DarrelHoffman Feigning a medical condition might be difficult if he has been shaking hands up until now. You can bet some (perhaps many) people will ask, "What happened?" Further, if someone told me they can't shake my hand because of a "medical condition" and wouldn't divulge what that condition was, I'd take care to avoid any contact with them at all.
– Headblender
9 hours ago
I thought about making that an actual answer, but I'm not sure it's enough of a good idea to seriously suggest it. It was mainly in response to the "pretend a sports injury" comment you made.
– Darrel Hoffman
8 hours ago
I thought about making that an actual answer, but I'm not sure it's enough of a good idea to seriously suggest it. It was mainly in response to the "pretend a sports injury" comment you made.
– Darrel Hoffman
8 hours ago
@SolarMike Hmmm. Believe it or not, handshaking is often very ingrained in the culture and not an empty/background gesture. Many co-workers will notice the maneuver after at most three-four days and comment on it. They really keep in their head the list of people and daily handshakes. I know I did. Thus this would very likely fail the "I don't want to be the odd guy" requirement.
– kubanczyk
8 hours ago
@SolarMike Hmmm. Believe it or not, handshaking is often very ingrained in the culture and not an empty/background gesture. Many co-workers will notice the maneuver after at most three-four days and comment on it. They really keep in their head the list of people and daily handshakes. I know I did. Thus this would very likely fail the "I don't want to be the odd guy" requirement.
– kubanczyk
8 hours ago
|
show 2 more comments
You could take a comical approach and attach a plastic hand near your desk with a sign for people to shake, they will probably laugh and get the message.
answered 6 hours ago
JaysonJayson
1072
add a comment |
You could take a comical approach and attach a plastic hand near your desk with a sign for people to shake, they will probably laugh and get the message.
answered 6 hours ago
JaysonJayson
1072
add a comment |
You could take a comical approach and attach a plastic hand near your desk with a sign for people to shake, they will probably laugh and get the message.
answered 6 hours ago
JaysonJayson
1072
You could take a comical approach and attach a plastic hand near your desk with a sign for people to shake, they will probably laugh and get the message.
answered 6 hours ago
JaysonJayson
1072
answered 6 hours ago
JaysonJayson
1072
answered 6 hours ago
JaysonJayson
1072
answered 6 hours ago
JaysonJayson
1072
1072
add a comment |
add a comment |
I have been through the same and I understand that social conventions sometimes are inconvenient (or undesired when involving physical contact like birthday hugs).
In my experience, most people will eventually get used to your preferences. I would explain to each one your reasons and politely ask to say hi in a less distracting way, for example, just waving.
Some will be offended but there is nothing wrong with wanting your focus to remain intact while you work and while you respectfully draw limits, there should be no problem.
Also, talking to everyone individually, you can explain without hurting their feelings, you give the message of being important enough to have "the talk", and give them a chance to process it.
I would avoid just not answering the shake from one day to another because they will probably be confused by the behavioural change and will assume the reason ("he's becoming weird", "what did I do?"), and potentially damage your social life there (not receiving after-office activities invitation, eating alone, etc). Leave the least space to assumptions and you should be fine.
answered 13 hours ago
AurinxkiAurinxki
2516
add a comment |
I have been through the same and I understand that social conventions sometimes are inconvenient (or undesired when involving physical contact like birthday hugs).
In my experience, most people will eventually get used to your preferences. I would explain to each one your reasons and politely ask to say hi in a less distracting way, for example, just waving.
Some will be offended but there is nothing wrong with wanting your focus to remain intact while you work and while you respectfully draw limits, there should be no problem.
Also, talking to everyone individually, you can explain without hurting their feelings, you give the message of being important enough to have "the talk", and give them a chance to process it.
I would avoid just not answering the shake from one day to another because they will probably be confused by the behavioural change and will assume the reason ("he's becoming weird", "what did I do?"), and potentially damage your social life there (not receiving after-office activities invitation, eating alone, etc). Leave the least space to assumptions and you should be fine.
answered 13 hours ago
AurinxkiAurinxki
2516
add a comment |
I have been through the same and I understand that social conventions sometimes are inconvenient (or undesired when involving physical contact like birthday hugs).
In my experience, most people will eventually get used to your preferences. I would explain to each one your reasons and politely ask to say hi in a less distracting way, for example, just waving.
Some will be offended but there is nothing wrong with wanting your focus to remain intact while you work and while you respectfully draw limits, there should be no problem.
Also, talking to everyone individually, you can explain without hurting their feelings, you give the message of being important enough to have "the talk", and give them a chance to process it.
I would avoid just not answering the shake from one day to another because they will probably be confused by the behavioural change and will assume the reason ("he's becoming weird", "what did I do?"), and potentially damage your social life there (not receiving after-office activities invitation, eating alone, etc). Leave the least space to assumptions and you should be fine.
answered 13 hours ago
AurinxkiAurinxki
2516
I have been through the same and I understand that social conventions sometimes are inconvenient (or undesired when involving physical contact like birthday hugs).
In my experience, most people will eventually get used to your preferences. I would explain to each one your reasons and politely ask to say hi in a less distracting way, for example, just waving.
Some will be offended but there is nothing wrong with wanting your focus to remain intact while you work and while you respectfully draw limits, there should be no problem.
Also, talking to everyone individually, you can explain without hurting their feelings, you give the message of being important enough to have "the talk", and give them a chance to process it.
I would avoid just not answering the shake from one day to another because they will probably be confused by the behavioural change and will assume the reason ("he's becoming weird", "what did I do?"), and potentially damage your social life there (not receiving after-office activities invitation, eating alone, etc). Leave the least space to assumptions and you should be fine.
answered 13 hours ago
AurinxkiAurinxki
2516
answered 13 hours ago
AurinxkiAurinxki
2516
answered 13 hours ago
AurinxkiAurinxki
2516
answered 13 hours ago
AurinxkiAurinxki
2516
2516
add a comment |
add a comment |
Resist the handshake, you should not be forced to give out handshakes as if they were high fives in a 90s teenage TV show. Do as user Jayson said you should do, or start doing your own thing. Point at them and tell them "you're the man" (if applicable). Or start presenting the left hand instead of the right hand. Some people will get the hint, some will just stop coming at your desk, not wanting to be bothered by "Eugene A's latest handshake prank". A few will stick around, and that's when you start having fun with them.
answered 4 hours ago
sleblancsleblanc
1112
New contributor
sleblanc is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Or my ideas: wave at them. Or salute them. (Just put your hand on your eyebrow, then quickly push your hand into the air. Then, to confirm that you've completed your portion, look away from them, back at the computer screen.) Since the core of my ideas is similar to the core of this answer, I just upvoted this answer and added my ideas in a comment.
– TOOGAM
1 hour ago
add a comment |
Resist the handshake, you should not be forced to give out handshakes as if they were high fives in a 90s teenage TV show. Do as user Jayson said you should do, or start doing your own thing. Point at them and tell them "you're the man" (if applicable). Or start presenting the left hand instead of the right hand. Some people will get the hint, some will just stop coming at your desk, not wanting to be bothered by "Eugene A's latest handshake prank". A few will stick around, and that's when you start having fun with them.
answered 4 hours ago
sleblancsleblanc
1112
New contributor
sleblanc is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Or my ideas: wave at them. Or salute them. (Just put your hand on your eyebrow, then quickly push your hand into the air. Then, to confirm that you've completed your portion, look away from them, back at the computer screen.) Since the core of my ideas is similar to the core of this answer, I just upvoted this answer and added my ideas in a comment.
– TOOGAM
1 hour ago
add a comment |
Resist the handshake, you should not be forced to give out handshakes as if they were high fives in a 90s teenage TV show. Do as user Jayson said you should do, or start doing your own thing. Point at them and tell them "you're the man" (if applicable). Or start presenting the left hand instead of the right hand. Some people will get the hint, some will just stop coming at your desk, not wanting to be bothered by "Eugene A's latest handshake prank". A few will stick around, and that's when you start having fun with them.
answered 4 hours ago
sleblancsleblanc
1112
New contributor
sleblanc is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Resist the handshake, you should not be forced to give out handshakes as if they were high fives in a 90s teenage TV show. Do as user Jayson said you should do, or start doing your own thing. Point at them and tell them "you're the man" (if applicable). Or start presenting the left hand instead of the right hand. Some people will get the hint, some will just stop coming at your desk, not wanting to be bothered by "Eugene A's latest handshake prank". A few will stick around, and that's when you start having fun with them.
answered 4 hours ago
sleblancsleblanc
1112
New contributor
sleblanc is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
answered 4 hours ago
sleblancsleblanc
1112
New contributor
sleblanc is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
answered 4 hours ago
sleblancsleblanc
1112
answered 4 hours ago
sleblancsleblanc
1112
1112
New contributor
sleblanc is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
sleblanc is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
sleblanc is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Or my ideas: wave at them. Or salute them. (Just put your hand on your eyebrow, then quickly push your hand into the air. Then, to confirm that you've completed your portion, look away from them, back at the computer screen.) Since the core of my ideas is similar to the core of this answer, I just upvoted this answer and added my ideas in a comment.
– TOOGAM
1 hour ago
add a comment |
Or my ideas: wave at them. Or salute them. (Just put your hand on your eyebrow, then quickly push your hand into the air. Then, to confirm that you've completed your portion, look away from them, back at the computer screen.) Since the core of my ideas is similar to the core of this answer, I just upvoted this answer and added my ideas in a comment.
– TOOGAM
1 hour ago
Or my ideas: wave at them. Or salute them. (Just put your hand on your eyebrow, then quickly push your hand into the air. Then, to confirm that you've completed your portion, look away from them, back at the computer screen.) Since the core of my ideas is similar to the core of this answer, I just upvoted this answer and added my ideas in a comment.
– TOOGAM
1 hour ago
Or my ideas: wave at them. Or salute them. (Just put your hand on your eyebrow, then quickly push your hand into the air. Then, to confirm that you've completed your portion, look away from them, back at the computer screen.) Since the core of my ideas is similar to the core of this answer, I just upvoted this answer and added my ideas in a comment.
– TOOGAM
1 hour ago
add a comment |
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38
Is shaking hands like this every day customary in your region? This would be completely bizarre in the US.
– David K
14 hours ago
4
Shaking hands is a widespread way to greet people, inside and outside alike here; it's just in this particular office I find it distracting enough to post a question here :-)
– Eugene A
14 hours ago
3
Just feel glad that you're not in the parts of Europe and South America where the customary greeting is a kiss! :P
– Mason Wheeler
11 hours ago
3
Does everyone shake eachother's hands too? I keep imagining the end of a soccer match where each team walks by and shakes everyone's hand on the opposing team; is this what it's like? I am Ukrainian also but I live in the U.S. and I would find it odd to shake hands every single day like that.
– MonkeyZeus
11 hours ago
11
@Blackhole Well that is just fascinating. I shake hands with my co-workers on three occasions at most: my first day on the job (or first time meeting someone), my last day at the job, and occasionally when I run into them outside of work.
– MonkeyZeus
10 hours ago